Ayahuasca Ceremony #225/ Plant Diet #8: Do What it Takes 

Ayahuasca Ceremony #225/ Plant Diet #8: Do What it Takes 

The question is, am I in service or not? Am I willing to do what it takes to be in spiritual service? I feel like it’s “selling in” (vs. “selling out”) – like a Peruvian mother who sacrifices time with her children to work in the US...
Ayahuasca Ceremony #221/ Plant Diet #8: Cement Layers of US Consciousness Cracking 

Ayahuasca Ceremony #221/ Plant Diet #8: Cement Layers of US Consciousness Cracking 

But longing is not honoring the love at all. It is honoring the fear. It is a way of distracting. It is a way from avoiding feeling the feelings I may have actually been feeling underneath, which for me, would be a self-fulfilling prophecy of the self-doubt that...
Ayahuasca Ceremony #216/ Plant Diet #7 with Crystals: Substances 

Ayahuasca Ceremony #216/ Plant Diet #7 with Crystals: Substances 

Part of releasing this core self-doubt involves learning to manage its defense mechanism: control. Trying to force someone to like me. Trying to force myself into being someone else to make them like me. The last “blanket” of crap, muting my true colors....
Large-Scale Heart Purge/ Relationship Training 

Large-Scale Heart Purge/ Relationship Training 

So I began exploring the “fight or flight” defense mechanism around relationships (or anything for that matter.) That knee jerk would not be there if I didn’t have a weak spot underneath that needed defending. If I were 100% secure and free to love,...
Another Wave – SOOO Done with Annoying Defense Mechanisms! 

Another Wave – SOOO Done with Annoying Defense Mechanisms! 

So here goes nothing – getting the shit out so I can live freely as I want. Whether it’s this guy or not, someone (in addition to myself) is going to be quite happy I’m too much of a stubborn ass to settle for being any less happy than absolutely...